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Votes For Men 

A COMEDY 



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NasHville Woman's Literary Club 

Maude Clasner, President 



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COPYRIGHT 1913 

By 'Woman'* Literary Club 

of NaaHVille. Mich. 



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©CLD. 332-84 









SCENE — State Senate, lady senators. 
CHARACTERS: 

President, 

Clerk, 

Page, 

Sergeant at Arms, 

Twenty or more Senators. 

Lady from the 13th (a bore, who rises every time 
any one else does, says, "Mrs. President", is not recogniz- 
ed, but remains standing until next speaker is recogniz- 
ed, sits down, getting more and more disgusted each 
time.) 

Time — 1951. 

Place — Senate chamber. Curtain rises, showing 
senators seated and president and clerk in chairs behind 
desks. President rises and uses gavel to call senate to 
order. 

Pres. — "The Senate of the State of Michigan is in 
session for the transaction of business. The clerk will 
call the roll." 

Clerk. (Calls roll names of members arranged 
alphabetically. Members answer, "here.") 

Lady from the 5th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 5th." 

Lady from the 5th — "Ladies of the Senate: I wish 
to remind the President that the hour fixed by the senate 
for the consideration of the special order has now ar- 
rived." 

Lady from the 20th — "Mrs. President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 20th." 

Lady from the 20th — "Ladies of the Senate: I move 
that the resolution to be considered be advanced from 
general orders to third reading, and that the bill be read." 

Pres. — "The question is on the motion of the lady 
from the 2 0th. Are there any objections? As many as 
are in favor of advancing this resolution to the third 
reading, say 'aye.' (Members answer 'aye'). As many 
as are opposed, say "no" (no response) "the motion pre- 
vails. The clerk will read the bill." 

Clerk — "Senate Concurrent. 

RESOLUTION NO 5. 
FILE NO. 15. 
Introduced by Mrs. , January 5, 1951. 

Referred to the Committee on Revision and Amend- 
ment of the Constitution. Reported favorably, January 
19, ordered printed and placed on the general orders. 



A CONCURRENT RESOLUTION. 

Proposing an amendment to section 1 of article III 
of the constitution, relative to the right of men to vote. 

1 Resolved by the Senate, the House of Representatives 

2 concurring. That the following amendment to sec- 

3 tion one of the article three of the constitution, rela- 

4 five to the right of men to vote, is hereby proposed 

5 and submitted to the people of the state. 

1 SECTION 1. In all elections, every male or female 

2 inhabitant of this state being a citizen of the United 

3 States; every male or female inhabitant residing in 

4 this state on the first day of January, nineteen hun- 

5 dred fifty-two; every female inhabitant of foreign 

6 birth with her husband who, having resided in the 

7 state two years and six months prior to the eighth 

8 day of November nineteen hundred fifty-two, and 

9 having declared his or her intention to become a citi- 

10 zen of the United States two years and six months 

11 prior to said last named day, shall be an elector and 

12 entitled to vote at any election, but no one shall be 

13 an elector and entitled to vote, unless above the age 

14 of twenty-one years and has resided in this state six 

15 months and in the township or ward In which he or 

16 she offers to vote twenty days next preceding such 

17 election. Provided, that there shall be no denial of 

18 the elective franchise at any election on account of 

19 sex; be it further resolved, that the foregoing amend- 
2 ment be submitted to the people of this state at the 

21 general election, to be held in the month of Novem- 

22 ber, in the year nineteen hundred fifty-two. The 

23 Secretary of State is hereby required to certify the 

24 foregoing amendment to the clerks of the several 

25 counties of the state as required by law. It shall be 

26 the duty of the board of election commissioners of 
2 7 each county to prepare a ballot for the use of the 

28 electors for voting upon said amendment, which bal- 

29 lot shall be in substantially the following form: Vote 

30 on amendment to section one of article three of the 

31 constitution, relative to the right of men to vote. 

32 Yes ( ). 

33 Amendment to section one of article three of the con- 

34 stitution, relative to the right of men to vote. No ( ). 

35 It shall be the duty of the board of election commis- 

36 sioners of each county to deliver the ballots so pre- 

37 pared to the inspectors of election at the several vot- 

38 ing precincts within their respective counties within 

39 the time ballots to be used at said election are requir- 
4 ed to be delivered to such inspectors under the gen- 

41 eral election law. All votes cast upon said amend- 

42 ment shall be counted, canvassed and returned in the 

43 same manner as is provided by law for counting, can- 
4 4 vassing and returning the vote for state officers. 

Lady from the 5th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 5th". 

Lady from the 5th — (Given with great earnestness 
and fervor) "Ladies of the Senate: We have an op- 
portunity such as comes to but few; the power to right, 
a wrong, to correct an injustice, to recind the act that, 
was the greatest crime of all history; the act that dis- 



franchised men just because we were numerically strong- 
er and were impatient for the reforms good men were 
willing to bring about. 

"When they took from man the ballot, and power 
to rule, they took from him all that made him a man 
worthy to stand on equality with woman. What have we 
left him? He is Samson shorn of his locks. Moses, the 
law-giver, without his laws. He is on a level with the 
washerwoman's husband who lives on the earnings of his 
wife: with the commercial woman's errand boy; or the 
worthless duke bought by the millionare for his daugh- 
ter. 

"What true woman could ever respect a man so de- 
void of manhood? Let us give him the ballot so we may 
again reverence his law-making power. 

"How can government of any kind represent society 
if it does not represent the masculine viewpoint? The 
franchise for men is essential to the hghest development 
of the race. Without his judgment, his energy and his 
will, vital and pressing problems cannot be settled. 

"We ask you in all candor. Ladies of the Senate, 
how has the loss of the ballot affected the man? Life 
is full of possibilities and while the great majority of 
people will not be called upon to accept conspicuous po- 
sitions, every one should live on a high plane of thought 
and of action: but men having been forced out of poli- 
tics have centered their minds on the mere getting of 
money and the result is easily forseen — a dwarfing of the 
once fine intellect — a contraction of the once powerful 
brain; for it is a fact that the constant attendance upon 
business, incident to the getting of money, is a menace to 
the mind of man, just as the strain on woman under the 
old regime even in well-to-do families was intolerable. 
The mind of either will fail to measure up to the highest 
standards if the little, petty details of life are permitted 
to warp a sense of the value of things and destroy a sense 
of humor. 

"Men need the ballot to restore the mental status 
of a Clay, a Webster, a Calhoun, men who, in the trying 
time of the history of our nation, the Compromise Period 
could handle matters of great moment. Who, we ask but 
this 'great trio' — the three great statemen of that turbu- 
lent period— could have dealt with such great issues? 
Who, but men, have been upholders of the principles of 
the Monroe doctrine? Men like a Root and a Knox hav- 
ing the power to say: "Thus far and no farther!" Who 
but the great minded, large hearted Lincoln, could have 
tided our nation through the years when disruption seem- 
ed imminent. And crowning act of his long career — the 
act by which he will be chiefly known through all future 
time — the Proclamation that decided the war; wlio, we 
ask, but a Lincoln could have faced that issue? 

"Who in the early history of our state — in the most 
critical period of its history — who but a Lewis Cass could 
have brought our state to a prestige out of all porportlon 
to its population and industrial importance? 

"Who but a great war governor, Austin Blair, could 
"have gained that recognition of patriotic service that 
■brought about the erection before our State Capitol of 



his statue in deatliless bronze? Witli the men who have 
figured conspicuously in the later history of both state 
and nation, we are all familiar — so we urge the ballot 
for men that they may be restored to their rightful posi- 
tion — then woman, by dividing the burden which the 
ballot has imposed upon her, with the husband, can again 
become the ministering angel in the home. 

"Ladies, let us remove this stigma from the fair fame 
of our loved ones. Let us not class college presidents, 
poets, philosophers and authors with idiots and children. 
If we love our husbands, fathers, brothers and sons, let 
us prove it by giving them full citizenship, admitting them 
to the councils of government, restoring to them their 
rightful heritage of honor and fame that they may once 
again occupy the seats of the mighty. Vote for this 
resolution because it is right, it is fair, it is justice!" 

Lady from the 7th — ^"Mrs. President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 7th." 

Lady from the 7th — (Given with great spread — eagle 
effect — extravagant gestures.) "Ladies of the senate: In 
the early dawn of the 17th century the people who were 
scattered along the eastern edge of the North American 
continent were loyal subjects of Great Britian. They were 
industrious and prosperous, and as their wealth increased 
they were burdened with excessive taxation for the sup- 
port of the crown while they were denied any representa- 
tion in the British parliament. 

"There could be but one result from such oppres- 
sion and that was "Revolution." 

"When countries or men or measures cease to be of 
benefit to the world they are denuded of their power. This 
is an inexorable law. It is as inevitable as the rising 
tide. The Revolution came and England lost her Amer- 
ican colonies. 

"On the 4th of July, 1776, the clamor of the old lib- 
erty bell shook the continent and its clanging was heard 
across the sea. It proclaimed the birth of a nation. A 
nation conceived in patriotism, born through the blood of 
its heroes, and cradled in the arms of liberty. 

"Once again we drove the red flag of England from 
our shores, and the new nation speedily became a world 
power. Prosperity perched upon her banner, new terri- 
tory was acquired and new states were formed. 

"In 1837 a state was born, a new commonwealth en- 
tered the union, another star was added to the flag, and 
it was destined to become one of the brightest stars in the 
galaxy. 

"Many years of quiet prosperity came and went. The 
sturdy pioneer was valiantly disputing the territory with 
the wild animals, and the still wilder savages while he 
was wringing a competency from the soil. 

"But there were others. The wily politician, the 
man with the glad hand, the human molasses factory, the 
nineteenth century American Shylock, was making himself 
felt. 

"Unscrupulous men had possessed themselves of pol- 
itical power and were in control of the legislature. Dark 
days followed, and from 1896 until 1912 the political 



conditions which existed in tlie grand old commonwealth 
of Michigan were a disgrace to a civilized nation. 

"But the handwriting had appeared upon the wall. 
They were weighed in the balances and were found want- 
ing. 

"In the winter of 1913 the United States congress 
passed an amendment to the constitution giving to wom- 
en the right of suffrage. The obnoxious conditions which 
existed were a stench in the nostrils of Michigan's loyal 
daughters, and in 1915 they courageously asserted the 
right of their womanhood, and backed by the might of 
the ballot, they took from unworthy hands the citizenship 
which had been abused. 

"The years which have elapsed since then have been 
years of clean government. And now we are asked to 
restore the ballot to men. And why not? Shall we 

make the men of the present time pay the penalty for 
sins which were committed by men who lived two genera- 
tions ago? The precedent of clean government has been 
established and cannot be overthrown. But it is not for 
sentiment I plead, it is for justice. 

"The rock upon which the foundation of this gov- 
ernment rests is equality. It was declared that all men 
are created equal and that they are endowed by their 
Creator with certain inalienable rights among which are 
life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And that to 
secure these rights governments are instituted among 
men, which shall derive their just powers from the con- 
sent of the governed, not from the consent of the women 
of the nation, but from the consent of the governed. 

"Ladies of the Senate, it is the old, old question of 
taxation without representation. The men of this state 
own more than one-half of the taxable property, and al- 
though we were chosen by the voters of this common- 
wealth to represent them in the legislature, what right 
have we to levy taxes upon the property of any individual 
who is denied a seat in the lawmaking body of this state. 

"If any man commits an act which the legislature of 
his state has declared to be a crime, he is punished ac- 
cording to the penalty prescribed. What right have we 
to penalize any individual for breaking a law which he 
has had no voice in making? 

"We give the ballot to the most illiterate kitchen 
maid, who is unable to sign her name except with a cross, 
and deny it to a man although he may be of superior in- 
tellectual attainments. I ask you, is this justice? 

"It is said that men are incapable of guiding the 
Ship of State, that their attempts would be absurdly inad- 
equate. So were the "Articles of Confederation" ab- 
surdly inadequate. It was only after experience had 
taught the needs of the new nation that the constitution 
was promulgated. 

"The Constitution of the United States was the pro- 
duct of the ablest minds of the 18th century, and it was 
expected that it would shape the destiny of the young re- 
public tor all time. But did it? There have been twen- 
ty-five constitutional amendments already, and it took 
four years of civil war to settle a question which the 
constitution left open. 



6 

"It is also said that even if men were allowed to 
make the laws that they would not have the power to en- 
force them. It is true that new conditions require new 
laws, and new laws require new methods of enforcement. 
The American men through long years of experience have 
made a business of rising to every emergency; and it is 
not for us to say that our fathers, and the fathers of our 
sons and the sons themselves, the boys whom we have in- 
structed in the art of good government, are incapable of 
handling affairs of state. 

"Some years ago in obedience to the demands of 
justice and right we partly enfranchised men. We allow 
them to vote upon all matters pertaining to the conduct 
of the public schools, and upon all matters pertaining to 
the raising of money. That is, we give them near suf- 
frage, we make them near citizens. In other words, we 
give them a whistle, and tell them to run around the cor- 
ner and blow it. It is something like a story I read the 
other day. A young man had his best girl out for a 

drive. They sat in the carriage listening to the band or 
something like that, and it happened that they had stop- 
ped near a popcorn stand. The young lady sniffed the air 
for a moment and said, "O! my, how good that corn 
smells." The young man gathered up the reins and an- 
swered, "All right, Sail, I'll drive up close so you can 
smell it better." 

"The grey sky which has hung like a pall over the 
years of this 20th century is passing away, and we behold 
the dawn of a bright future when husband and wife, 
brother and sister will have equal rights, equal oppor- 
tunities and equal responsibilities. When the privileges 
which have been bestowed by the Michigan Legislature 
shall be the admiration of the world, and the history of 
which shall go ringing down the centuries, proclaiming 
to the generations which shall come after, the patriotism 
of the sons and daughters of the old Wolverine state who 
perpetuated the words of the great emancipator by 
helping to make this "government of the people, by the 
people and for the people. 

Lady from the 9th. — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 9th." 

Lady from the 9th. — "I say, let men use their in- 
fluence. A man can have but one vote, while he may 
have a mother, three or four sisters, a wife and several 
daughters, to all of whom his word is law. Moreover he. 
can use this influence without any loss of dignity or self- 
respect. 

"Women have always lived to please the men. Their 
houses, gowns and manners are the result of this natural 
inclination. 'Tis indeed a poor specimen of mankind 
who has not mother, wife, sister, or sweetheart whom he 
can influence to vote as he thinks best. By using this, 
indirect influence in politics he will not be subjected to- 
the hardships and annoyance of public life but can live 
in the safe shelter of his dwelling or business edifices. 

"If man has as his heritage in life the power to per- 
suade, inthrall, and subjugate woman, he has no need to. 
come down from his throne to mingle in political frays. 
All that is necessary for him to do is to visit several in- 



fluential women in their homes, beg for a few minutes of 
their time, explain his desires, and persuade them to carry 
out his wishes. Thus he will not lose his graceful charm 
of manner nor lower his manly ideals. 

"We are told that still waters run deep. There are 
few thrones of power behind which does not stand a man, 
and his influence is tenfold greater if he is a quiet home- 
loving man than it would be if he were a loud mouthed 
politician, for it is out of the question for a man to en- 
gage in politics without losing his native modesty. 

"If he were a voter he would sacrifice for one vote, 
the privilege he has, as head of his family of forming the 
opinions of his daughters, his own wife, and possibly 
some other man's wife. In fact by contenting himself in 
the capacity which nature has fitted him to adorn, he pos- 
sesses himself of the wonderful fabled lamp of Alladin by 
rubbing which all things beautiful and desirable are 
brought to pass. The hand which provides the home for 
those voluntarily taken under protection is the hand that 
rules the world. 

"History is full of examples which show the power 
of man's influence over woman. Ever since Adam in 
the garden persuaded Eve to divide with him the apple 
he coveted but dared not taste first, or Cleopatra left her 
happy home to fight the battles of Antony, until today men 
have exercised a fatal attraction for woman's romantic 
nature. Men never have had any diflRculty in finding 
women to do their bidding. 

"So they have the consolation of knowing on election 
day that they possess in place of the ballot, something far 
higher and greater so immeasurably better that when they 
realize fully its power they will never again mention the 
ballot. I refer to this boundless influence, the influence 
of a good man. If men do not see that this is true 
they must be educated to understand what unlimited pos- 
sibilities lie hidden in this influence. 

"Let our dear brother use this heaven sent influence. 
Cn election day let him take his female relatives and 
friends gently by the hand and earnestly entreat them to 
Tote as he himself would if he could. Let a man walk 
part way to the polls with his wife and tell her that he 
is only a man but he loves his country and takes an interest 
in her welfare and won't she please vote as he wants her 
to? Let him tell her it would be extremely nice of her 
and he would appreciate it. 

"Then when this wonderful influence works, and 
liis wife votes as she pleases let him hum for his peace of 
mind a verse of that grand old hymn, 'Thy Will be 
Done.' " 

Lady from the 11th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 11th." 

Lady from the 11th — (With mock solemnity) "La- 
dies of the Senate: It has been said that a woman's 
heart is like the moon. No matter how often it changes 
there is always a man in it! So I beg that you will do 
nothing that will lower the man in our esteem or cause 
him to lose his self respect. 

"The question resolves itself into this: Will we re- 
spect man as much if he votes? 



8 

"I fear if this measure carries that he will lose some 
of that elusive impalpable quality of manliness which now 
commands our respect. 'Twill be like rubbing the bloom 
off the peach. 

"We will lose our chivalry and protectiveness to- 
ward them if we allow them to shove ahead in the crowd- 
ed streets and jostle each other rudely on election day 
when they go to the polls. 

"Contact with politicians will reduce them again to 
the old servile attitude, and they'll become what they 
were when Kipling said of them, 'Man's timid heart is 
bursting with the things he must not say'. Now we ask 
their opinion on public questions, but if they get the 
ballot they will become bold designing creatures of whom 
we will be ashamed. 

"I tremble to think of a timid home loving man be- 
ing obliged to go to the polls on election day to smell 
the beerladen breaths of the patriots he meets and even 
condemned to smoke a vile-smelling campaign cigar. 

"Women of the Senate, I beg of you not to expose 
our Fathers, Husbands, Brothers and Sons to such un- 
speakable degradation. (Speaker wipes eyes with hand- 
kerchief, other members do likewise, while one is over- 
come with grief and wails audibly). With tears in my 
eyes I plead with you to remember the modesty and puri- 
ty of our men and not oblige them to associate with any 
undesirable element." 

Lady from the 4th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 4th." 

Lady from the 4th— (With bombastic speech and 
extravagant gestures) "Ladies of the Senate: Look over 
this fair land of ours which we women have made to blos- 
som like the rose. There is no inharmony or unrest, in 
all this broad land, naught but peace and prosperity. Let 
us look back a decade or two to the conditionof our coun- 
try when we took it from the hands of man. There was 
fraud and corruption on every hand, and the whole coun- 
try was in a political muddle; Democrats, Socialists, Re- 
publicans, Standpatters or Insurgents, all fighting for 
their own personal advancement, and the almighty dol- 
lar, until our country became more corrupt and more 
foul than the Agean Stables; and by the stench that arose 
therefrom we might have been mistaken for a colony of 
Polecats. Did not we women find it more than a Hercu- 
lean task to cleanse it? Has man the right of suffrage? 
Would we sink again into that mire of degredation out 
of which we women raised the country? No, a thou- 
sand times no. Poor weak man has shown his inabil- 
ity to rule; he was never made to govern, he has not the 
capacity; his place is in the home; and what will become 
of that sacred institution if we give man the right of 
suffrage, and who will tend and rear the children, and 
look after the interests of home? 1 tell you. Ladies of the 
Senate, we would have more rents in our garments and 
fewer buttons on them than we have now if we take man 
from the home. And man is not capable of voting. He 
has not kept himself informed on political questions, and 
he knows nothing of the great issues that are before our 
country today. If we give them the ballot, but few will 



avail themselves of the privileges and those that do will 
vote just as their wives do. But few want it and the few 
are more or less effeminate. Is it right to force upon 
the whole what but few want? Man has seen the utter pol- 
itical failure of his ancestors, and majority care not to 
take the burden upon themselves. Is it right to endan- 
ger our country? and corrupt man? Let us look back 
in history when men of honesty and integrity were placed 
in positions of power. They soon became corrupt. I 

tell you, man's love for money and power is too great, and 
he is morally too weak to withstand temptation. The 
masses are happy and contented as home keepers, and 
they can do no harm to themselves or their country there. 
Ladies of the Senate, stop and think before you vote. Let 
uncient China be a warning to you. Once China was a 
highly civilized nation, but man took the power from 
woman and the country was crippled, and she sank from 
civilization into barbarism. Man has now become 
sweet, wholesome and domesticated, let us not drag 
our brother into the mire, out of which we women have 
raised him." 

Lady from the 15th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 15th." 

Lady from the 15th. — (Points with pride.) "Ladies 
of the Senate: This is a very serious question under consid- 
eration. 1 doubt not that every member of this body 
would much prefer to remain in her home rather than 
bear the political burdens of a great State, but the Lady 
from the 7th Dist. has cited the deplorable conditions 
of the country prior to 1912, when we were forced to 
take the reins of government into our own hands to pro- 
tect our homes, our children and yea, even the men them- 
■selves. Now after 3 5 years of continuous administra- 
tion let us look at some of the results of our efforts. 

"First, let us point with pride to our civil service 
system where every man or woman wins his or her posi- 
tion on the merits of his or her efficiency, and trust-wor- 
thiness without fear or favor of the Political "Boss." 
Let us point with pride to our civic improvements: our 
streets and alleys are as neat and orderly as our parlors 
and kitchens; our sidewalks unspattered with germ laden 
refuse, for we enforce our expectorating ordinances. Our 
factories, schools and tenements are kept in splendid san- 
itary condition and our highways would give joy to the 
heart of old Horatio Earle, if he were here today. 

"Again we point with pride to our segregated colonies 
for the incompetent, where the sexes are separated and 
■each one given such employment as he is able to do, thus 
keeping the colonies on a self supporting basis. Com- 
paie this, ladies, with the old Lapeer asylum, that is still 
within recollection of some members of this body. When 
the third Hague conference convened in 1915 and the 
congress was over-whelmed with petitions that could no 
lorger be denied who sent the majority of petitions, who 
demanded the arbitration and got it? Woman. Who 
more than a woman realizes the meaning of war? Sher- 
man said way back in 1864, that 'war was hell.' If it is 
that for the man, what must it be for the woman? She 
:fi.ghts the bravest battle when she sends to the slaughter 



10 

the pride and joy of her heart. Look what arbitration 
means to the country at large, no string of million dol- 
lar Dreadnoughts to parade around the world, no com- 
missioned officers to strut around in gold lace and clank- 
ing sword, no standing armies to support, no big appro- 
priations for naval and military schools, and no new pen- 
sion lists. To-day we point with pride to our beautiful 
Panama canal, the gateway of the nations, unguarded 
by fortress or gun, but calmly o'er-shadowed by a statue 
of liberty whose smile bespeaks 'Peace, good will to men.' 

"Again, if you please, we point with pride to the re- 
fining influences woman has brought into public life; ev- 
ery business office, store or factory, every court-room, 
in fact, every place where woman is employed has been 
made clean and decent by her presence. We remember 
the old voting booth or poll as near the saloon as possi- 
ble with its disgusting ward-healer rounding up his vic- 
tims, and setting up the drinks; today the women are 
voting in libraries, church parlors or their club rooms 
and they cast their votes Intelligently and independent- 
ly. No woman has ever sold her vote or bought her 
nomination, and no corporation has ever dared to offer 
her a bribe. 

"Let us again point with pride that the young wom- 
en are no longer obliged to marry the first man who 
comes along, for by means of the equal wages for equal 
efficiency regardless of sex, she is able to maintain her- 
self in comfort and respectability until she condescends to 
love and honor some weak man. 

"There was a time when man had one standard of 
morals by which to judge a woman and another by which 
to measure himself. Today we point with pride that a 
double standard of morality is a thing of the past; the 
women of Michigan have brought light where there was 
nothing but darkness, have eliminated the places of vice 
and crime and demanded equal purity of man and woman. 

"Again, if you please, look at our greatest triumph, 
the state wide prohibition law; today our streets are un- 
shadowed by glaring signs of Budweiser and Silver Foam, 
nor are we compelled to pass the open door of a saloou 
from 'Which floated the foul smelling odor of stale booze 
nearly intoxicating the passers-by. Words cannot ex- 
press what this has done for women and the home, and 
the generations to come, but it has done infinitely more 
for the men. Think of the men who were bound by the 
habit they could not break because the temptation was 
ever before them, how many wended their way home- 
ward at night with empty pockets and irregular foot- 
steps. Today one of those men may be seen walking 
along with head erect, a prosperous business man or per- 
chance behind the steering gear of an aeroplane. Look at 
the increased out-put of all our great factories since 
their money provides for the comforts and conveniences 
of the home instead of going into the breweries' wallet, 
and Ladies of the Senate, this old liquor octopus is not. 
dead, he is just lying in wait to get the chance to bribe 
some weak man to introduce the license again; dare we 
take the risk, ladies? We point with pride to the bright 



11 

and healthy children romping in the home today since 
the passing of the Glasner bill. 

"Again if you please, look at the mother's pension 
bill providing for the mother that she may remain in the 
home mothering and educating the children; thus re- 
ducing the number of delinquent and degenerate. We 
point with pride to our economy of time and money in 
conducting our adminstration; look if you please at the 
amount of work we have accomplished in this session of 
about four weeks because we have worked faithfully 
ten hours in a day while men have required four months 
for a session and have not done much of anything but 
keep their heels on the desks, kill the bills and move to 
adjourn. If men conducted their business with the same 
laxity and extravagance as they did their politics there 
would never have been a Rockefeller, Morgan, Carnegie, 
or Frisk. Look how we have limited the profits of the 
monopolies so that the commodities they have gobbled up 
are within the means of every working man. 

"Look at the splendid growth of timber that adorns 
today the old Michigan tax lands. Who has compelled 
the lumber and logging companies to take care of their 
brush heaps, thus controlling to a great degree the aw- 
ful devastation of forest fires? Who, I say, who? 

"The lady from the fifth has pointed with pride to 
the men who have swayed the destiny of this nation, all 
honor to them, but we, too can point with pride to wom- 
en who have fought shoulder to shoulder with men, and 
fought alone to keep this nation off the rocks. Who 
waged battle against intemperance, the worst enemy 
that ever assailed this nation, and fought until she fell? 
Frances Willard. Whose pen kindled the fires of indig- 
nation against the slave holder of the South? Harriett 
Beecher Stow. Who roamed the bloody battlefield and 
fought hand to hand with death and disease and did 
what General or President had not time to do? Clara 
Barton. The reforms that have emanated from Jane 
Adams through Hull House could never have been con- 
ceived in the brain of man, and no man has ever smash- 
ed as many saloon windows as Carrie Nation. And I 
might point with pride to dozen other things that men 
have talked of or dreamed of but were never brave 
enough to carry out. So ladies, we have nothing to 
prove that these high standards will be maintained or 
the good work under consideration ever carried out. 
Iheretore, Ladies of the Senate, we cannot and must not 
allow this bill to pass." 

Lady from the 6th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 6th." 

Ladv from the 6th. (Given very emphatically) 
"Ladies of the Senate: We view with alarm this present 
agitation of a question long since settled. 

"We view with alarm the very idea of withdrawing 
our protection from men and allowing them to form again 
tie habits of old. 'Twas because men consumed practi- 
cally all of the tobacco and nine-tenths of the alcohol, 
and did so many other things injurious to health and 
morals that women became the stronger sex, both phy- 



12 

sically and intellectually. So far we have been able to 
defend men from weakness within and perils without. 

"We view with alarm the giant devil-fish known as 
the liquor interests ready to fasten its tentacles upon 
society. In the days of license this awful traffic cost our 
state millions of dollars and the money cost is insignifi- 
cant compared to the cost in manhood. 

"We view with alarm the thought of putting ballots 
into unworthy hands and cite this instance to prove that 
disorder will follow: In one of our reighboring cities 
a little band of citizens were spending a social afternoon 
at the parlors of the Benevolent and Protective Order of 
White Mice, which has taken the place of the more clum- 
sy and now extinct Elk and Moose, when some 
unscrupulous persons made bold to serve some spirit- 
uous refreshments, which had been smuggled in from one 
of the few remaining wet states. And those men, — 
modest, law-abiding citizens, — fell for it and fell with 
it, as if a demon lashed them on; those men who had been 
reared in a prohibition state, under the gentle infiuence 
of high-minded, honest voting mothers, wives and sisters, 
felt the fever of King Alcohol that had lain dormant for 
more than a quarter of a century in the blood of the state 
partook of the cursed poison and were drunk. You, my sis- 
ters, do not know the meaning of that sinister word, as 
did those who lived in the days of the open saloon. 
But they were drunk, and when their wives, who had been 
holding a convention at the city hall, drove around to 
take them home in their aeroplanes that afternoon they 
were dismayed to find a wrecked lodge room and their 
carefully nurtured husbands, armed with long necked 
bottles, careening down the street, driving of the police, 
smashing windows and shouting "Votes for (hie) Men." 

"We view with alarm such actions; we view with 
alarm such riots; we view with alarm the spirit behind 
them that would be upheld by giving votes to men. 
We view with alarm the spirit of unrest which is sweep- 
ing over the country, and which will end in disaster, 
disruption, destruction and death. We view with alarm 
the expressed intention of the weaker sex to usurp tho 
authority which is heavens last best gift to wome'.i. 
We view with alarm this effort to restore the conditions 
of old time politics, when men fought in conventions un- 
til police reserves and the state militia had to be called 
out to preserve order. 

We view with alarm those who favor giving votes to 
men. We view with alarm the kind of men who want to 
vote. We view with alarm the kind of women who want 
men to vote. We view with alarm the whole sorry busi- 
ness of 'Votes for Men." 

Lady from the 3rd — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 3rd." 

Lady from the 3rd. (Dressed as typical Irish wo- 
man, with broad Irish brogue.) "Ladies of the Senate; 
this discussion reminds me of one of Mrs. Dooley's stor- 
ies. 

(Just before the Irish woman speaks, a member 
might move to take a recess of five minutes, while an- 



13 

other member sings a song. Several pieces of music 
could be used in this way.) 

"Says Mrs. Dooley to Mrs. Hennesay: 'What's this 
Oi hear about min votin' agin?' says she. Then Mrs. 
Hennesay explained: 'Yez see it's this way. Since Rosy 
O'York wuz married and her husband becomeMr. O'York, 
she has bin wantin' the wimmen tor let him vote so she 
could have more power in politics.' 

" 'Yez remember how wimmen finally got the bal- 
lot because min in the auld parthies took pincel an' pa- 
per an' figgered out how may votes wuz fur thim an' how 
manny wuz agin thim an' they says, says they, 'Be ja- 
bers, if the wimmin don't vote fur us we'll lose our jobs,' 
they says. So they sinds fur the wimmen an' they says, 
'Ladies, feller citizens, voters,' says they, "vote with us 
an' we'll share the fruits in our glorious victory with 
you," says they. "This party gives you the ballot an' 
is prepared to be liberal ter its loyal ladies," they said. 

"They never figgered out that countin' widers an' 
gurl bachellars they wuz more wimmin thin min. Wall, 
they voted an' the wimmen says, "Disfranchise the min 
who nayther read nor rite," they says, an' twuz done. 

"Nixt they disfranchised the min who thought pol- 
iticks vuz ter durthy fur thim, nixt thim that batted an' 
eye lash whin a loaded cannon wuz pointed at their 
brists in the order shouted, "Foire." Nixt thim that 
wouldn't conform to our kerrect morral standard, an' 
last, thim as were sindin' out thought waves of bad in- 
f.ooence, 'till first we knowed iver mother's son of thim 
stayed home on illection day because he couldn't vote. 
'Twas a great joke on the min." 

"Now the min hasn't voted in so long and they're 
an unedicated ignurant lot an' Mrs. O'York says 'They 
ought to vote agin so they would need to study an' become 
wance more our ekals intellictually' says she." 

"But I'm agin it for the rayson that 'twould double 
tte ignorant vote. 'Twould tribble it, fur our native 
born Americans are incompetint an' ignurrant furriners 
would need tin years to larn; an' begorry there's enough 
ignurrant wimmen votin' now without addin' to the 
country's burden the ballots iv ignurrant min," says Mrs. 
Hernesay. "I'm more afraid iv the ballots iv the ignur- 
rant than of the guns iv war," says Mrs. Dooley. Sor- 
ra a bit the loikes iv thim will iver git a chanct ter 
vote" said Mrs. Dooley." 

Lady from the 19th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 19th." 

Lady from the 19th — "I have an amendment, I wish 
to offer." (Page goes to member, gets amendment, 
takes it to clerk.) (Clerk reads.) "I move that in 
•every place the word 'male' occurs in lines 1, 3, 5, and 
S, between the words "every" and "male", the word 
"married" be inserted." 

Lady, from the 19th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 19th." 

Lady from the 19th — "Fellow members: Why the 
married male ojily to have the ri^ht of franchise? Be- 



14 

cause, we can guide and control our husbands but bash- 
elors are irresponsible, unreliable creatures. Each of 
us can attend to her own individual male and see that 
his vote is placed as she desires. 

"Mothers are often lenient with their sons and give 
them more liberty than is at all beneficial, but wives have 
their husbands under subjection from the first; for, 
since the word "obey" was changed from the bride's to 
the groom's response, he knows his wife's word is law, 
and dares not disobey. 

"Another point to consider is matrimony. Sev- 
eral times lately some of our representative young wo- 
men were refused when they proposed marriage: this, 
too, when the girls were receiving good wages and were 
able to keep the males in just as good style as their moth- 
ers could at home. So if they want to vote let them get 
married. 

"The males are getting dissatisfied to keep our 
homes as they should. They are neglecting their cook- 
ing and mending and the children are allowed to roam 
the streets. This will be ten times worse if we allow 
unattached males to vote. So Madam President, I move 
the adoption of this amendment." 

(Several of the younger members signify their ap- 
proval of the amendment in a disorderly manner.) 

Pres. (Using gavel) — "One at a time please. The 
members are out of order." (Recognizes each in turn 
except the lady from the 13th. Some second the mo- 
tion; some express their pleasure.) 

Pres. — "Question is on the adoption of the amendment 
offered by the Lady from the 19th. Are there any ob- 
jections?" 

Lady from the 5th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 5th." 

Lady from the 5th — "Ladies of the Senate: I do not. 
see the object of this amendment. Is it aimed to force 
men into matrimony? (cries of "yes, yes) I object, 
to any such foolishness. This resolution should be 
passed on its merits without having any nonsense tack- 
ed onto it " 

Pres. — "Clerk will call the roll. Members as their 
names are called will vote 'Aye' if in favor, 'No' if op- 
posed." (Clerk calls roll; nearly all members vote aye) 

Clerk — "Ayes 17, Noes 3." 

Pres. — "A majority of the members having voted 
therefor the amendment is passed." 

Lady from the 12th — ^"Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 12th." 

Lady from the 12th — "Ladies of the Senate: Caa 
you not see that this law would cause family quarrels? 
What could be more disastrous to the peace and harmony 
of our homes than to give men the right of franchise? 

"We have taken time to study literature along pol- 
itical lines. We have educated our daughters expect- 
ing them to be efiicient in enforcing laws we have fram- 
ed. 

"Men have given but little attention to political 



15 

questions and differences of opinion that have arisen. 
They have not taken the trouble to inform themselves 
so they could vote intelligently. 

"If they are given the ballot, will not those who 
are now refined and choose their associates with care, soon 
lower themselves by conversing in public places with the 
illiterate, the negro, or even anarchists? And their 
wives will be utterly powerless to prevent it. Will not 
their aspirations for office without qualifications be an- 
other source of trouble? A woman would blush with 
shame to have her husband elected as a member of the 
legislature knowing he could not make a discerning 
speech on questions before the house. Their sphere is 
V here they are now, in the home. Let them remain 
there. 

"We want laws passed that are for the good of our 
homes and the state. We care not for partisan strife. 
Men would adhere to their party whatever the question 
at issue. 

"Will not these differences affect the home life? 
At present men find pleasure in passing social hours with 
their families. Will not this be changed if they have 
political clubs, banquets, conventions, caucuses and other 
things of like nature to interest them? 

"There are many homes in which husband and wife 
will difier on the great political questions of the day. 
Can they go together and cast their votes for different 
candidates without trouble arising which may magnify, 
and even cause a separation? Think of the violence of 
such quarrels! Do we desire our children to witness 
such distressing scenes as quarrels over politics? 

"Which is of the most value, to keep our homes in 
their present state of tranquility, or, to give men the 
right of suflrage, thereby overthrowing all we have toil- 
ed years to accomplish? 

"Ladies of the Senate: Let us endeavor to keep 
our husbands and sons so contented while we hold the 
reins of government that they will not clamor for the 
ballot. This will certainly be a fatal step if we desire 
to preserve the sacred ties of home." 

Lady from the 8th — "Madam President." 
Pres. — "The Lady from the 8th." 
Lady from the 8th — "Ladies of the Senate: I have 
listened with the closest attention to the arguments of- 
fered on this very important question and it seems to me 
we are o'er-estimating the effect of the bill. 

"Sitting by the fireside, father, mother, sister and 
brother plan the new home, the daughter's education, 
the yourg men's business career, or talk of the father's 
health or financial condition. The men always welcome 
the advice and help of the women in church affairs. Then 
why not consult together over affairs of State — let us 
not forget that many of the women who so loyally sup- 
ported us at the polls are themselves financially supported 
ty husbands and fathers whom they naturally desire to 
please. 

"The member from district number seven speaks 
of taxation without representation leading to separation, 



16 

but in this case I really think we need not feel alarmed 
because, while the men for certain principles might be 
willing to do without luxuries or even books, yet I scar- 
cely think they would be willing to do without cooks. 

"The passage of the bill seems to me more a matter 
of inclination or expediency than of principle — The old 
motto says, "In inclination yielding, in principle firm." 
If the men desire to leave for a time the strenuous walks 
of life and engage in the pleasant pursuit of politics, why 
should we object? 

"We demand free schools, liberty of the press, of 
speech and of conscience, why not a free ballot? Wheth- 
er or not it is expedient for men to have the ballot can 
be determined only by trial or by truths gathered by ret- 
rospecting the past. 

"By turning to the early pages of history, we find 
that Jefferson and his associates planned our government, 
that Washington and his army laid the foundation, and 
when our Ship of State, so proudly referred to was about 
to be wrecked on the black sands, of the South, "The 
Great Emancipator' came to the rescue. 

"Grover Cleveland, 'the white man of the Democrat- 
ic party' fostered civil service reforms in its infancy. In 
fact many of the reforms 'pointed to with pride' origi- 
nated during the men's administration, so Madam Presi- 
dent, we urge the passing of this bill which we trust will 
be the means to the end that will conserve, improve and 
encourage our young men to higher thoughts and nobler 
aspirations. 

"So let us not be arbitrary, vain or conceited, but 
with malice toward none and charity for all, let us lead 
our country on to those prophetic boundaries given by the 
American in Europe — in response to a toast United 
States — U. S. he said: 'Bounded on the north by the 
Aurora Borealis, on the south by the procession of the 
equinoxes, on the east by the primeval chaos and on the 
west by the Day of Judgement.' 

Lady from the 10th — "Madam President." 

President — "The Lady from the 10th." 

Lady from the 10th. "Ladies of the Senate: so 
long a time is it since bribery and corruption in politics 
were known that the public has almost forgotten that 
such things ever did exist. But now that man has come 
to the door of our Senate asking that we again give him 
the right of franchise, it behooves us to examine this mat- 
ter most carefully and to bring to mind some of the con- 
ditions which existed forty or fifty years ago, before man 
lost the right of voting. 

"Let us not deceive ourselves by thinking that man's 
conduct V ould be different than it was in former times. 
What man did do. he would do again if we give him the 
chance. 

"During man's rule, how many men wpre in the Sen- 
ate on their merits? How many on their money or some 
cornoration's money? Had merit or popular worth or 
popular preference been the test, could it have been pos- 
sible for such corruption to exist as we know was the 



17 

common practice in the early days of this twentieth 
century? 

"It is a question often asked by philosophers, why 
did some men so yearn to hold a seat in Congress? They 
would moil and creep on all fours, spend money like wat- 
er, forswear and abase themselves to get it and having 
gotten it, they did nothing, said nothing, proposed noth- 
ing. 

"Mental bats — they could not see a public need. 
They would not have known how to meet it if they had. 
They simply occupied their seats in Congress and occa- 
sionally offered a motion to adjourn. 

"Such a valuable member as this we find disgracing 
our United States Senate when the great State of Wis- 
consin was represented by a man whose only qualifica- 
tion was, that he could count his millions. The election 
was the result of an organized riot of corruption, a de- 
bauchery of the electorate by treating methods, thus 
arousing political enthusiasm and securing political favor. 
Seats in the Senate do not belong to the highest bidder — 
if they are to be bought and sold as merchandise, then 
sooner or later the Republic must fall. 

"That, liadies of the Senate, is but one instance. The 
same sort of corruption was found everywhere in this 
hroad land of ours, the interests would select men for of- 
fices and forthwith they would be elected at any 
cost. They bribed the voters and bribed the legisla- 
ture until it almost seemed like the old Roman days when 
•every man had his price. 

"Do we want that sort of thing repeated? Could we 
bring that curse upon our country again? And who does 
not remember w hen graft was an export trade in most of 
our cities? When it was a case of manhood against 
money and the records disclose a paltry conception among 
men chosen to positions of authority, who were prone to 
forget its good when a briher clinked his coin. 

"Privilege was obtained in one way and that was 
hy some sort of political corruption. You may think 
that your own husband or son is sure and honest and 
could conduct the affairs of state just as well as we do, 
but keep him so. Do not subject him to the temptations 
that come with public life. 

"We have built up an ideal state — the man in the 
home, the woman in politics — let us keep it so." 

Lady from the 18th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "ITie Lady from the 18th." 

Lady from the 18th. "Ladies of the Senate: I 
have another amendment to offer. (Page gets amend- 
ment, carries it to clerk.) 

Pres. — "The clerk will read the amendment." 

Clerk reads: "I move that in every place the word 
"male' occurs in lines 1, 3, 5, and 9, after the word 'male' 
the words, 'who can fight,' be inserted." 

Lady from the 18th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 18th." 

Lady from the 18th. "Ladies of the Senate: This 
resolution should be amended so as to give the ballot 



18 

only to those men who can fight, for if we allow men to 
vote, once more will the earth resound to the clamors of 
wars. Mankind fought as long as women would allow 
them to, and if men can vote they will soon find excuse 
for fighting again. So for this reason, I say, let us give 
the ballot only to those who are able-bodied enough to 
serve as targets. Madam President, I move the adop- 
tion of this amendment." 

Lady from the 11th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 11th." 

Lady from the 11th. "I support this motion. The 
ballot was kept from women for thousands of years be- 
cause they couldn't bear arms though they reared the 
armies." 

Pres. — "Question is ontheadoptionof theamendment 
offered by the lady from the 18th; are there any objec- 
tions?" 

"Lady from the 5th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 5th." 

Lady from the 5th. "Ladies of the Senate: I ob- 
ject to this amendment. It is utterly senseless and ab- 
surd. It seems to me that some of you are simply trying 
to make a farce of this resolution." 

Lady from the 18th. "I do not wonder that the la- 
dy from the 5th objects to this amendment in the inter- 
ests of peace, for should it carry, her husband would not 
be a voter as he is a notorious coward. 

Lady from the 5th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "Lady from the 5th." 

Lady from the 5th. "If street brawling is any sign 
of bravery, the husband of the lady from the 18th ought 
to be eligible to vote about four times as he is forever 
brawling in the highway with others I might mention." 
(At this several ladies grow much excited and address 
the chair all together. One shouts, "That's so; I can testi- 
fy to that." Lady from the 13th yells, "Madam Presi- 
dent," and hops up and down. Lady froin the 18th 
shakes her fist at the lady from the 5th. The Irish wo- 
man rolls up her sleeves. A perfect babel of, "For 
Shame." "It's no such thing." "Keep still, can't you?" 
Do stop that mouth of yours." etc. While the president 
pounds with the gavel and at last calls on sergeant-at- 
arms to restore order.) 

Pres. — "Clerk will call the roll. Members as their 
names are called if in favor will vote 'Aye'; opposed, 
'No.' 

Clerk calls roll, anounces (ayes 13, noes 7.) 

Pres. — "A majority of the members having voted 
therefor the amendment is passed." 

Lady from the 14th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 14th." 

Lady from the 14th. "Ladies of the Senate: Be- 
fore we take final action upon this momentous issue, let 
me ask you, 'Do men want the ballot? 'Twould be a very 
grievious wrong to the majority of our men to allow a 
minority or a lot of sentimental women to force respon- 



19 

sibilities upon them. They are too engrossed in business 
to desire another burden. Should the right of suffrage 
be obtained for them by the clamor of a restless unhap- 
py few, who are agitating for it, duty would demand that 
they exercise those rights. Judging the future by the 
past, have we any assurance that they would discharge 
this duty conscientiously? Let us consider how the best 
of men used to say: 'Politics is too dirty for us.' 
How ministers, business men and philanthropists stood 
aloof and turned the powers of government over to boss- 
es, wardhealers, and corporations. 

"When first voters were given the franchise by co- 
lonial charters that included religious and property qual- 
ifications. After the Revolution a number of others were 
enfranchised but they did not ask to vote. Negroes were 
given the ballot, without their asking or expecting it, nor 
were they required to show that they could make good 
use of it. The brown men of our island possessions, Por- 
to Rico, Hawaii, and the Phillipines were given the bal- 
lot and taught to make little crosses on it: but they did 
not ask to vote nor did they promise to use it well, or 
at all. How shocking it would be to the world to hear 
a gentleman say in a loud tone: '1 want to vote!' Think 
how unmanly it would sound! 

"It is a self-evident fact that the majority of right 
thinking men do not want to vote. The present agita- 
tion is only a fad led on by a few idle irresponsible men 
vsho only think they want the ballot because they can- 
not have it. 

"The forty years which have just passed have prov- 
en that men are not only willing but glad to leave mat- 
ters pertaining to politics, religion and society to the ten- 
der mercies of their wives. They consider these things 
too unimportant to trouble about. Their business is al- 
ways to them the whole of life and to handle political 
questions intelligently would require more time and stu- 
dy than they are willing to give, so they look with un- 
friendly eyes upon any innovation which would alter the 
even tenor of their ways. 

"Some of them say, "I will never vote because it is 
being forced upon me and not conferred at my request.' 
They are so used to playing second fiddle that they hon- 
estly perfer it. 

"Under the indisputable logic of these facts the ar- 
guments of my fellow member came crashing down like 
the -wall of Jerico at the trumpets of truth." 

Lady from the 16th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 16th." 

Lady from the 16th — "Ladies of the Senate: 
Have you given this question serious thought 
and study, and come into a full realization of 
what it would mean to give man the ballot? Do you 
"want to force us out of theseeasy leatherchairs, take from 
us the five dollars we get for sitting in them a few hours 
each day? Do you want to mar the polished surface of 
these desks with the nail prints of masculine heels? Do 
jou want to cover this beautiful velvet carpet wih cigar 
stumps, orange peels, banana peels, and all kinds of rot- 
ten deals; if not, vote against this suffrage bill. Ladies 



20 

of the Senate, I now appeal to you with reference to the 
domesticated man. Surely by this time he has seen the 
wonderful purification and advancement in political af- 
fairs, and he bows his head in meekness and murmurs, 
'Oh, woman, thou art wonderfully and fearfully made!' 
Why disturb their peace and contentment? Let me tell 
of one case, a duplicate of the rest: At a home before 
ringing the bell, I glanced in the window, saw a man 
rocking a baby to sleep, and this was his lullaby; not 
floating softly through an open window, but heard dis- 
tinctly through closed doors. (Sing in bass voice.) 

Rock a bye baby, in cobwebs we float. 

Papa is mama since women can vote, 

Buttonless shirts, and socks full of holes. 

Natural consequences, equal rights at the polls. 

Bye, Oh! bye baby, sleep Oh! sleep, 

While your poor papa gets something to eat, 

No use to cry, no use to fret, 

Papa's a has been, mama's a suffragette. 

"Ladies of the Senate, after seeing and hearing this, 

with tears in my eyes, I turned away, and there and then 
was confronted with the awfulness of disturbing man's 
domestic peace and happiness. Feeling thus, could I 
conscientiously vote for a bill that would destroy all this? 
No! I do not want my slumber disturbed by a troubled 
conscience. I cannot or will not vote for a bill that gives 
men the right of suffrage." 

(Lady from the 13th then arises alone, for the first 
time is recognized and is so surprised that she stammers, 
and starts several times to say something and at last sits 
down and does not rise again.) 

Lady from the 2 0th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "The Lady from the 2 0th." 

Lady from the 20th. "Madam President, Ladies of 
the Senate: This reminds me of the story of a politician 
and an old farmer. The office seeker wanted the farmer 
to vote for him while the sou of the soil favored a man 
who then held office. The wily politician argued like 
this: 'You are a progressive farmer, you believe in ro- 
tation of crops, why not apply that principle to politics?' 

" 'Well,' the farmer replied: 'I believe in rotating, 
but I don't believe in plantin' my tater patch to skunk 
cabbage.' 

"You've heard how faithfully, economically and 
thoroughly women have done the work of the world. Let 
us compare this one session with a session of the Senate 
of 1911, when men were running things. 

"WE have worked here ten hours a day, six days a 
week. THEIR record reads like this: Wednesday,. 
January 4, organized in one hour and ten minutes, took, 
a recess of one hour and fifty minutes, convened again 
for thirty minutes, took another recess, then elected 
some officers and passed some resolutions for thirty min- 
utes more and adjourned, having worked two hours and. 
ten minutes. The next day listened to the messages of 
two governors which took three and one-half hours, mak- 
ing the total for the week five hours and forty minutes. 



21 

and so exhausted them that it was necessary to adjourn 
until Monday night to recuperate. 

"Monday night no quorum; Tuesday, session lasted 
one hour; Wednesday, two hours; Thursday, three hours 
and twenty-five minutes. Friday no quorum; total for the 
2nd week, six hours and twenty-five minutes. Thethirdand 
fourth weeks totaled eleven hours and ten minutes. The 
fifth and sixth, nine hours and five minutes, making forty- 
three hours and thirty minutes, or four and thirty-three 
one-hundredths days in eight weeks, an average of five 
and one-third hours a week, or fifty-three minutes a day. 

"This arduous labor was mitigated by periods of 
rest on $42 worth of new davenports and the fact that 
fifty-nine officers were helping them to do their work. 
Among these employees were nine janitors, six floor mes- 
sengers, a sergeant-at-arms and four assistants. 

"During this same eight weeks 225 absences are 
recorded, leaving the average attendance three-fourths of 
the membership. These facts may be found in the Sen- 
ate Journal of 1911, thousands of which were printed 
and sent out, postage paid by the state, and hundreds 
later bound in calf for free distribution. 

"For 73 days they drew $25,600 from the state for 
salaries. The incidental expenses of the legislature were 
$28,055.22. They paid out for supplies, including $10 
for fiowers for a funeral, $16 for engrossing resolutions 
of sympathy (they were sorry but not sorry enough to go 
down in their own pockets) and $695 for stationery, the 
sum of $1984.58, over $62 each. 

"In addition the state paid 10c a mile milage and 
milage and salaries for 59 officers. They passed appro- 
priation bills calling for the expenditure of over $8,000,- 
000. The actual expense is hard to find as part is in the 
journals, part in the auditor's report, part in the capital 
superintendent's report, and goodness knows where the 
rest is to be found. 

"While the states were squandering their millions, 
the general government threw away billions, 400 mil- 
lions yearly were spent forecasting weather, sending free 
seeds, fowers, and fish, public buildings, doctoring live 
stock, delivering mail, dredging rivers and harbors, giv- 
ing pensions, and bathing and barbering Senators. 

"The weather bureau cost $1,611,250 a year. Edu- 
cating soldiers at West Point alone cost $1,000,000. 
■$16,750 went to train midshipmen. Rivers and harbors, 
known as the pork barrel, swallowing up $30,888,400. 
Public buildings took $33,011,500. Printing: and dis- 
tributing reports and pamphlets, not including the Con- 
gressional Record, used $684,450. 

"They hired special trains to teach corn growing 
and road building and had special Pullman accommoda- 
tions for fieh. In short, the chief function of government 
in those days was the dispensation of cash that made 
the wealth of Midas look like a soap bubble. The men 
were so extravagant and wasteful that a billion dollars 
melted away like a strawstack when a cyclone strikes 
it. Man's well known extravagance is the greatest argu- 
ment against equal suffrage. 



22 

"We have all we can do, it costs us all our salaries 
to support men in the style to which they are accustomed 
without allowing their spendthrift hands in the strong 
boxes of our treasuries. 

"It takes money for dress, money for business, mon- 
ey for charity, money for bridge, whist, and money for 
amusements of various kinds to keep them contended. 
They are all clamoring for money — more and more mon- 
ey. Besides every one of them has a hobby that takes 
money or complains that lack of money curbs his right- 
ful enjoyment of life. 

"For instance there's (an editor) always springing 
this joke. Editors are like new year's resolutions, be- 
cause they're always broke. 

Laugh and { ) laughs with you 

Laugh and you laugh alone 
First the joke is ( ) 

Last when the joke's your own. 

likes machinery 



But best of all we know 

He likes to wind his mouth up 

He likes to hear it go. 

Life's real for (some politician) 
But it might be more sublime 
If he were not kept so busy 
Building fences all the Jime. 

When (a physician) patients are few 
And collections are hard to get 
With an auto to scare a horse or two 
He soon has bones to set. 

(The telephone man) at St. Peter's gate 
Is softly told to stand and wait 
'Till the trees the gang have laid so low 
Have grown to the beauty they used to show. 

All that Sherman said that war is 

That much and more is politics 

Said (Defeated candidate) to that wife of his 

Who helps his game with the spondulicks. 

(The dentist) joy is in pulling teeth 
To his parlor you are attracted 
One aches above, he pulls one beneath 
Then his conceit is painfully extracted. 

(The candidate) wants to do his duty 
By the country in the fall 
Do not let him do the country 
Is a warning to you all. 

(The poet) has lots of good times 
Hunting up words and making rhymes 
His wife wishes he had considered before 
Preachers and poets are always poor. 



23 

(The ladies' friend) once donned a petticoat 

Traveled down to the polls to vote 

When the excitement began to pall, 

He said: "Dear ladies, I'm a friend to you all. 

is one of species rare 



A Democrat, please handle with care. 

exercise every day in the grove 

To build his bay window down into an alcove. 

His good wife's money disappeared like mist 

Since learned to play whist 

is happy the most of his time 

Planning to go to a much hotter clime. 

-sings, "I don't care if he is a houn' 



You gotta quit kickin' my dawg aroun' 
With expensive rifles, and game bags big 
(The sheriff) goes hunting and gets a blind pi? 

-says 'twere better 



That 1 had loved and lost 

Than to get married 

And all my life be bossed. 

It makes wife and daughter 

Work until they both are lame 

To buy hair restorer 

And his tickets to the ball game. 

We always laugh at jokes 

No matter what they be 

'Tis not because they're funny 

But because it's policy. 

"In view of these facts, these undisputed facts, these 
incontrovertable facts; in view of this lavish expendi- 
ture and waste of resources by men, I protest, Madam 
President and fellow members, against the passage of 
this resolution. It is an iniquitous measure and can 
work out no good to mankind." 

Pres. — "Question is on the adoption of this resolu- 
tion. The clerk will call the roll." 

(Clerk reports: "Ayes 4 — Noes 16.") 

Pres. — "A majority of the members present not vot- 
ing therefor the resolution is not passed." (Great ap- 
plause.) 

Lady from the 8th — "Madam President." 

Pres. — "Lady from the 8th." 

Lady from the 8th. "I move we adjourn." 

Pres. — "Question is on motion of the lady from the 
8th that the Senate now adjourn. Are there any ob- 
jections? If not all in favor say 'Aye' (Ayes vote), con- 
traiy 'No' (no response). This Senate is adjourned for 
50 years." 

Members then sing riotously Roy K. Moulton's, 
"Hea\€n Help you, Michigan", or other appropriate song. 

(The foregoing jokes are local hits and the blank 
spaces are to be filled with the names of local men. Many 
other such jokes may be added.). 



MAY 22 1913 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



014 212 081 1 



